You would assume being a good bridesmaid should be easy, right? You've been friends for a while and you know your friend pretty well. But you'd be surprised how many ladies in the bridal party often miss the mark (and then some). Many bridesmaids end up making their friend's wedding about themselves or just don't know how to support the bride the ways she needs.
Here we will go through a few tips on how to be a "good" bridesmaid.
Expect to Spend Money
Being a bridesmaid costs a considerable amount of money. As a bridesmaid you are responsible to pay for your apparel, travel and hotel room for the ceremony, hosting a bachelorette party, hosting a wedding shower, as well as a shower gift and a wedding gift. There are many options on things to do to save money but your best bet is to talk to the bride about your financial situation upfront and set a limit on what you can spend. Also, a bride may sometimes pay for some of the expenses a bridesmaid incurs if her budget allows it.
Listen to the Bride
This sounds simple right? However, I am not talking about just doing what she says. I am referring to really listening to how she's feeling, what is troubling her and any other things she has to say. A wedding is a very stressful time for most brides and having someone there to listen and ask her how she is doing means a lot to a bride and a friend. Doing this one thing will make sure you are well on your way to being a "good" bridesmaid
Expect to be Told, Not Asked
By accepting to be a bridesmaid, you have essentially given up your choice of attire, dance partner (at least for one dance), and many other aspects on the day of the wedding and all wedding related events. Accept this early on as it doesn't get any easier later.
Although many brides ask their bridesmaids opinions on dresses, decorations and other things, the bride will have the final say on what you are wearing and doing on that day. If she asks for your opinion on a dress, find out her opinion first. If it doesn't flatter you, suggest another dress but be prepared for the bride to say no. Not everyone is going to have the same body type and its inevitable that it won't look as good on one person as it does on another. Remember, this day is about the bride, your friend or family member and not yourself.
Keep it Together at the Wedding and other Wedding Events
The bachelorette party is your opportunity to have the time of your lives together. Drink, dance and celebrate the bride however know when to cut yourself off.
At the wedding social, you have responsibilities to do and handling money so getting tanked is not a good idea. No one wants to babysit the sloppy drunk girl at the end of the night, especially not the bride!
Help the Maid of Honor with Planning
Planning the bachelorette party and the Wedding shower falls on the responsibility of the bridesmaids.
You are paying for the wedding shower and paying for the bachelorette party. If you are not involved in the planning of it, at the end of the event you may be asked to pay way out of your price range for these events. Make sure you state what you want to spend at the start of planning the events so that all the wedding party is on the same page.
Respond to the Maid of Honour's questions even if you don't have an answer yet. A simple, I will check when I get home, goes a long way instead of a question being ignored. Remember, if you don't reply, they will plan it their way and you will be left with the bill.
Bite Your Tongue
Everyone has heard the saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." During the wedding planning, it is not the time to trash talk another bridesmaid, the groom, friends or family.
This is also important when the bridal party goes out for the brides wedding dress. If the bride is in awe and amazement of a dress, keep your critical comments to yourself. A bride is constantly second guessing her decisions and the wrong comment can spiral into an emotional breaking point.
Help out at the Wedding
Being a bridesmaid may be an honour but you also have some responsibilities as well. If there is something the bride needs, help her get it taken care of. Take lots of photos from the early planning stages and also during the wedding and give them to the bride when its done and she will be very thankful for them.
Be Reliable and Attend All Events
Let's face it, sometimes you can't make an event because of an emergency. However, a good bridesmaid will make all attempts to be a help rather than a hindrance. This means being where she is supposed to be and being there on time. If you have something you have booked every Thursday night that cannot be changed, make it known to the bride early on so she can schedule around it. As a bridesmaid you must attend the bachelorette party, the wedding shower, the dress fittings, the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner and any other event the bride needs you to attend.
Thank you for reading! If there is any other points you believe we missed, please leave a comment below for other bridesmaids
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Top event designers (with a combined 121 years working in weddings) reveal the blunders, pitfalls, and missteps many couples make during the planning process. Read about them now—accompanied by photos of real weddings that got it right—so you can avoid them later!
MISTAKE 1: MAKING PLANS BEFORE SETTING BUDGET
Picking a dress or wedding venue prior to establishing financial parameters is a lot like shopping without glancing at price tags and then strolling up to check out with your fingers crossed. You risk falling for a gown or location that breaks your heart when you realize that to afford it, you’d have to cut your guest list in half—or cancel the honeymoon. “The three initial hurdles are budget, guest list, and venue, and they should be tackled in that order,” says planner Lynn Easton of Easton Events in South Carolina and Virginia. “Your budget defines your options and drives your decisions.” While drawing one up, “include charges for overtime, gratuities, and car services from the start,” advises New York City planner Marcy Blum. “By doing so, you avoid throwing money at things you weren’t prepared for.”
MISTAKE 2: NOT HAVING A RAIN PLAN
If yours is an outdoor event, rain on your wedding day isn’t just ironic, it’s a game-changer. Too many people are tempted to just hope it won’t happen, which is the planning equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling, “I can’t hear you, Rain!” Bicoastal planner Lyndsey Hamilton of Lyndsey Hamilton Eventssays, “People don’t want to put the deposits down for tents, umbrellas, and golf carts they might not need—you pay 50 percent and lose it if you don’t use them. But if you don’t book them early on and are marrying during peak wedding season, tents might not be available when the weather starts to look iffy.” Meet with the tent company six to nine months ahead and think of the deposits as an investment in your peace of mind. “We believe that if you have a good Plan B, it won’t rain, but if you haven’t considered ‘what if,’ it will undoubtedly pour,” says contributing editor David Stark of David Stark Design and Production in New York City.
MISTAKE 3: UNDERESTIMATING THE COST
Just because the setting may be breezy doesn’t mean the planning is going to be easy. “With alfresco affairs, people think we’re just putting a tent in a field, and it’s going to be beautiful,” says Hamilton. “They don’t realize all the logistics necessary for a tented event to go off without a hitch.” Bear in mind you’ll need to rent bathrooms, kitchen facilities, lighting, fans or heaters, and generators.
MISTAKE 4: PLANNING A TOO-LONG PARTY
It’s the event of your lifetime, but it shouldn’t feel like it lasted a lifetime. “It’s tempting to get so excited that you map out a marathon celebration, with pre-vow drinks, a lengthy ceremony, another cocktail hour, a multi-course dinner, three hours of dancing, an after-party, and more,” says planner Calder Clark, owner of Calder Clark in Charleston, South Carolina. “But industry insiders agree that a five-hour reception is the tip-top of what people can enjoy and still exit laughing. The evening should have a natural end.” It should also have a comfortable beginning: Be sure to supply chairs so attendees can sit for the vows (a five-minute ceremony becomes a painful 20-minute wait if you run
MISTAKE 5: PACKING THEM IN
You want your wedding to feel chic and elegant, not “crowded elevator.” “Being cramped makes meal service and dancing difficult, and it really inhibits the guest experience,” says Hamilton. Ask your venue how many attendees can comfortably fit, then reduce that by 10 percent, she suggests: “You don’t want to get to the max of what your site can accommodate.”
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